1 00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:06,774 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:15,649 ( liquid flowing ) 3 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:23,124 - jeez. - ( toilet flushing ) 4 00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:27,061 What are you Doing in there? 5 00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:29,230 - what in the world Was that? - what? 6 00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:31,332 What, do you got seabiscuit In there with you? 7 00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:33,401 - what? - that was crazy. 8 00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:35,836 - oh, yeah. - I never heard a... 9 00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:38,372 - a stream like that. - ( laughing ) 10 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,476 Yeah, I'm taking This new pill. 11 00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:45,045 That is, like, not human, That sound. 12 00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:47,715 It's got some backsplash too. I gotta be careful. 13 00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:48,782 - oh, really? - yeah. 14 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,684 All right, so... Anyway, 15 00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:54,888 It seems like meg ryan Is just not gonna work, 16 00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:56,590 Because her schedule Is too busy 17 00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:58,959 - and we're not gonna get her. - work? Work for what? 18 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,794 For george's ex-wife. 19 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,931 But lisa kudrow 20 00:01:04,031 --> 00:01:05,866 I think would also Be great. 21 00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:07,868 - she's a great actress. - great actress. 22 00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:09,503 But I think you want... 23 00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:12,440 I think you want to go With an unknown For this part. 24 00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:15,476 - why? - because you believe That it's real. 25 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:18,146 What's real got to do With what we do? 26 00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:20,948 Well, when george's ex-wife Calls him from the plane, 27 00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:23,217 Right? And, uh... 28 00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:25,253 He's got The tivo guy there... 29 00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:27,755 - mm-hmm? - ...That happened to me 30 00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:29,056 - with cheryl. - uh-huh. 31 00:01:29,157 --> 00:01:31,592 Cheryl should play This part. 32 00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:33,594 Cheryl! 33 00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:36,197 Maybe somebody that looks Like cheryl, that's an idea. 34 00:01:36,297 --> 00:01:38,166 - no, but she-- - what about renee zellweger? 35 00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:41,802 But cheryl, she's unknown And she lived this part. 36 00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:45,005 - and she's an actress! - so the person that it Happens to 37 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,740 - is the best actor? - what else do you want? 38 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,643 You think nixon Could have been nixon In "Frost/nixon"? 39 00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:51,712 - nixon's not an actor. - neither is cheryl. 40 00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:54,148 - she is. - all right, Let's have her read. 41 00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:56,184 She can read. Maybe she'll get it. 42 00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:58,352 - I'm open to it. - you're open to it. 43 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:01,222 - yes. - hey, guys, here's The latest scripts. 44 00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:03,457 - there you go. - thank you very much. 45 00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:06,394 And, oh! Reminder-- you have lunch With richard lewis, 46 00:02:06,494 --> 00:02:07,928 - both of you. - okay, thanks. 47 00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:09,363 - what is that? - ( rattling ) 48 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,432 Yeah, that Air conditioner is-- I don't know. 49 00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:13,601 - it's making noise up there. - oh, I'll get it. 50 00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,369 Oh, here we go. Don't worry about it. 51 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,838 I used to do this for my mom All the time. 52 00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:22,843 Oh, yep, hang on. 53 00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:28,148 There we go. 54 00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:31,885 It smells like A rattlesnake is in there. 55 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,521 Oh, there-- 56 00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:36,056 - does that sound better? - yeah, it's a little better. 57 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,090 - yeah? - yeah. 58 00:02:37,191 --> 00:02:39,227 There we go. 59 00:02:39,327 --> 00:02:41,362 All right, you guys Need anything else? 60 00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:42,896 - are you good? - no, we're good. 61 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,097 - are you sure? - yeah. 62 00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:46,434 - okay, thanks, maureen. - yeah. 63 00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:48,702 I can't take it anymore. 64 00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:51,705 - how can she walk Around like that? - every day. 65 00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:53,106 Every day, every day. 66 00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:55,108 We have to make a change. 67 00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:57,978 We can't. Julia got her the job. 68 00:02:58,078 --> 00:02:59,280 We can't fire her. 69 00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,815 - we have to talk to her. - oh, okay. 70 00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:03,884 You need to talk to her About her clothing. 71 00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:06,720 - I-- I can't do that. - what are you talking about? 72 00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,021 I can't-- I can't do it. 73 00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:09,457 Why not? 74 00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:12,460 - I don't want to. - do you think I want to? 75 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,127 - I don't want to. - you have to. 76 00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:15,195 - I have to? - yes. 77 00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:16,897 Are you crazy? You do it. 78 00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:20,668 No, but you-- It's the kind of thing You do so well. 79 00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:21,969 - I do well? - yes! 80 00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:23,537 Are you nuts? This is your forte. 81 00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:25,773 - no no no no no. - yes yes yes. 82 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:28,509 You're smart and eloquent, That's what you are. 83 00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:31,945 This is not A call for eloquence. This is a call for charm, 84 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,947 For, you know, lightness 85 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,583 And breeziness. That's you. 86 00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:38,286 You're really the boss. You're the star of the show. 87 00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:40,187 She'd really respect it Coming from you. 88 00:03:40,288 --> 00:03:43,023 I'm white glove. White gloves, larry. 89 00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:44,792 I don't do those things. 90 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:47,595 When we did the show, You were the one who Did this stuff. 91 00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:51,031 Remember the cook? How you told her she was Using too much mayonnaise? 92 00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:52,500 - you did that! - I know. 93 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,068 And she came back The next day duly chastened, 94 00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:56,537 Fixed the tuna, Fixed the egg salad. 95 00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:58,772 I know, but mayonnaise Is not personal. 96 00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:02,810 The mayonnaise is as Personal to the chef as her Flabby stomach is to her. 97 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,846 So how are we Gonna decide who's-- I'm not doing it. 98 00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:07,948 We'll choose. 99 00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:09,249 - odds even. - one takes. 100 00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:11,051 - one takes. - what do you got? 101 00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,353 - odds. - you got odds? 102 00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:13,554 - I got evens. - okay. 103 00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:15,723 - one two three-- - both: shoot! 104 00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:17,458 I win. Do it. 105 00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:22,262 Okay, thank you. Bye. 106 00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,470 - hey, larry. - hey. 107 00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,472 - what's going on? - not too much. 108 00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:34,241 - yeah? - jerry and I were Just talking. 109 00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:36,243 Mm-hmm. 110 00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:39,279 And... 111 00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,615 We kind of have a little Bit of a problem... 112 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,917 Oh no. 113 00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,386 ...With the, uh... 114 00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:47,588 The bare midriff. 115 00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:51,124 What-- with my shirt? 116 00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:53,293 This is all exposed And the stomach-- 117 00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:55,896 If it's not Too much trouble... 118 00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:59,099 - uh-huh. - ...Maybe you could start Wearing longer shirts? 119 00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:02,135 - what do you think? - okay. 120 00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:03,804 - I see, okay. - what? 121 00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,973 - it's because I'm a woman. I understand. - no! 122 00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:08,576 - ( larry stammers ) - I didn't think you were Like that, larry, 123 00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:11,011 - but I guess you are. - I'm not like that! No, I'm not. 124 00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:14,682 Because if a man was Wearing this, you wouldn't go Out and say anything to him. 125 00:05:14,782 --> 00:05:17,284 Even if it was a man, I wouldn't want to see that. 126 00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:20,621 "That"? What is "That," larry? 127 00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,690 Well, that. You know. 128 00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:25,393 - why do you keep doing this? - do I? 129 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:27,728 - yes. - oh. 130 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,598 - um, I don't know. - what is the problem, larry? 131 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:33,501 - are you offended by my body? - not at all, not at all! 132 00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:36,336 But it's not really Appropriate attire For an office. 133 00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:38,539 Okay, so you want me To wear, like, a burka? 134 00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:42,376 Not a burka, but something In-between this and a burka. 135 00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:44,778 Do you know that I have Lost 68 lbs in two years? 136 00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:47,147 - that is fantastic. - thank you. 137 00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:50,117 - I'm so happy for you. - I'm very proud of it and I Want to flaunt what I've got. 138 00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:54,855 You can flaunt 2/3 of the day Outside of the office. 139 00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:58,158 And then you got 1/3 non-flaunt. Do you have to flaunt 24 hours? 140 00:05:58,258 --> 00:05:59,960 Why not take a break In the flaunt? 141 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:01,929 Why would I need to take A break in the flaunt? 142 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,164 There's something about Being a little mysterious-- 143 00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:06,567 "Oooh, what's under that? 144 00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:09,236 Hey, look at that woman. What has she got Under there? 145 00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:11,505 - what's going on With that one?" - you know what, larry? 146 00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:13,441 I don't need this, okay? I quit. I'm sorry. 147 00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:15,876 - you're gonna quit? - yeah, I can't do it, larry. 148 00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:18,679 - I'm not gonna do This stuff for you anymore. - no, I understand. 149 00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:20,848 - I completely understand. - I'm not going on vitamin runs. 150 00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:23,551 - I'm not gonna go buy Your socks for you anymore. - yeah, I'll buy my own socks. 151 00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:25,318 That's fucking ridiculous. I'm out of here. 152 00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:27,421 - seriously? - yes, I'm gone, larry! 153 00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,657 ( door slams ) 154 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,860 Done! 155 00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:36,797 Jerry: I cannot believe She's gone. 156 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,966 I thought maybe she would Change what she wore. 157 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,801 But I never thought we could Be done with her completely. 158 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,736 But isn't that really Why you sent me in? 159 00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:45,372 I mean, were you thinking Of it somewhere in the back Of your mind? 160 00:06:45,473 --> 00:06:47,808 - I was hoping, yeah. I was thinking... - that I would mishandle that 161 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,611 - and it would lead To something terrible? - I thought, "This bulvan 162 00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:53,847 Will walk in there And in two minutes 163 00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:57,685 She'll be out in a huff." That's what I thought. 164 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,789 - ( honks ) - larry: hey, come on, man! 165 00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:03,891 - just pulling out like that! - idiot! 166 00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:05,125 What's he doing? 167 00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:07,628 You got something you want To say to me, cuntface? 168 00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,429 - huh? - hey, look, I'm sorry. 169 00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:11,364 I didn't See you pull out. I'm sorry. 170 00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:14,434 Learn to fucking drive, You fuck! 171 00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:19,673 ( exhales ) 172 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,375 - larry: honking's Very dangerous. - jerry: yeah. 173 00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:25,412 I try never to honk. Only in dire emergencies. 174 00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:28,015 So you just wait if Someone's in front of you, The light has turned-- 175 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:30,518 - yeah. Yeah. - nothing? You just sit Behind them and wait? 176 00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:33,053 - can you do a little-- huh? - the gentle honk? 177 00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:34,421 - yeah. - yeah. 178 00:07:34,522 --> 00:07:36,423 - the throat clear. - the most I could do 179 00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:38,692 - is a gentle honk. - exactly. 180 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,428 - "Hello, excuse me." - do you have that technique? 181 00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:43,363 - I do a great excuse me. - it's a language. 182 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,098 - it's a lang-- absolutely. - yeah. 183 00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,235 - by the way. - what? 184 00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:50,470 How many napkins Does a person need 185 00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,339 To get through a sandwich? 186 00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:54,141 I don't know. I use a lot of napkins. 187 00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:56,977 - always. Every meal. - you should bring A bath towel to eat. 188 00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,912 - ( laughing ) - that's what you Should bring. 189 00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:00,681 - hey, guys, I'm so-- - hey! 190 00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:02,716 - hey hey, man, Good to see you. - how are you? 191 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,385 - long time. Good to see you. - what do you like to do? 192 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,487 - I don't know what you do. - plea-- yeah. 193 00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:09,757 Larry: We-- we ordered. We couldn't wait. 194 00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:12,425 I can see. But I'm-- can I-- I want to eat something. 195 00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:14,161 I'm famished, so... 196 00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:16,864 - you know, can I-- I'm starved. - jerry: oh. 197 00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:19,567 - move over. - I'm starved. 198 00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:22,302 - you should-- you know. - what? No, you. 199 00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:24,638 What's going on? Can I sit down? 200 00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,540 Come on, scootch over. 201 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,777 How many years You guys-- you know this guy? You're close friends. 202 00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:32,780 Right, I know him longer So he should sit over there, 203 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,315 Because I'm actually gonna be Talking to him more than you 204 00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:36,984 So I should have Eye contact with him 205 00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:39,319 As opposed To turning around And straining my neck. 206 00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:41,689 You know, I'm a lefty. I can't-- 207 00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:43,991 It'll be to your right. It works to your advantage. 208 00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:47,761 Look, the only reason You want me to slide over Is because you want 209 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,463 - the luxury suite. - of course I want The luxury suite. 210 00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:52,465 - you want the luxury suite too. - yes, I do. 211 00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:54,835 You're right, You're right, I do. But you-- 212 00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:58,138 - hey, where'd he go? - oh my god. 213 00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:01,609 - what the hell? - richard: I'm fucking Angry at you. 214 00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:13,420 Hi, guys. Hi! 215 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,122 - hi. - I was just on the lot. 216 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,390 - I thought I'd come by And say hi. - hi, cheryl. 217 00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,660 Jerry, I wanted To thank you so much. 218 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,561 - oh. - this is gonna Be so great. 219 00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:23,496 Thank you for giving me The part 220 00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:25,098 In the "Seinfeld" reunion. 221 00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:28,335 - the--? - the part on The reunion show? 222 00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:30,604 - you know. - oh. 223 00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:33,641 - so-- - I am so excited About it 224 00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:36,276 - and I wanted To thank you personally. - oh, well, 225 00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,746 I'm-- I-- I can't believe it. 226 00:09:38,846 --> 00:09:42,750 - I can't either! - why don't-- I'll go Meet you upstairs. 227 00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:44,852 - okay. - all right. 228 00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:47,020 I'll see you upstairs. Go-- 229 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,922 Why don't you go up? 230 00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,323 All right. 231 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,626 - I'll see you later. - okay. 232 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,329 - I got an odd, um-- - no. 233 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,597 --vibe from him. No? 234 00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:59,399 No. You know, the only thing is 235 00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:01,268 You prob-- um... 236 00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:03,336 You're kinda gonna have to-- 237 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:06,373 - audition, yeah. - I have to audition For this part? 238 00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:08,575 - I thought you said I had it. - no, you do have it. 239 00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:10,744 - you do have it, you know. - that's why-- 240 00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:12,680 It's like winning an election But waiting to get sworn in. 241 00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:15,415 So the audition Is the swearing in. It's nothing. 242 00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:17,450 - it's a formality. - formality, yeah. 243 00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:19,452 - but I have the part? - you just show up and read it, 244 00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:21,889 - and just-- you know, He needs to see that-- - read it? 245 00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:24,658 --he needs to see that you Can read and write, You know, whatever. 246 00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:26,193 - all right, well-- - all right, so-- 247 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,696 I'll see you, uh... You'll call me and tell me. 248 00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:30,831 - okay. - right? When to come in and-- 249 00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:32,299 - yeah. - --for the formality. 250 00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:34,567 - you look good. - thank you. 251 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:37,070 I can't believe that you Would have the audacity 252 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:40,373 To even-- to even Broach the subject, 253 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,943 - to have the gut-- okay. - well, first of all, I didn't do it. 254 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:45,779 Excuse me, he did it. Listen, 255 00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:47,881 What is this With maureen? What-- what-- 256 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,317 I tried to be Very sensitive. 257 00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:51,752 I-- I did, But she stormed out. 258 00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:54,654 You can't go up to a woman 259 00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:57,157 And tell her that her shirt Is inappropriate 260 00:10:57,257 --> 00:11:01,328 Or distracting to you Or whatever the hell you said. It is sexist! 261 00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:04,264 - it's completely sexist. - we would have said that To a man 262 00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:05,833 If-- if there was man flab. 263 00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:08,168 - yeah. - a man wouldn't even Dress like that. 264 00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:10,303 Women dress like that. That's the look for the... 265 00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:12,840 - ...Young girls. - yeah, for your swinging, 266 00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:15,442 Sexy l.A. Scene That you live in. 267 00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:17,377 - we don't live in that world. - what are you talking about? 268 00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:19,579 He lives in los angeles. Who do you think you are? 269 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,015 He lives in his own mind. He doesn't know Anything about it. 270 00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,651 The point is this-- There's lots of men that We talked about hiring 271 00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:27,287 - that we wouldn't hire For various reasons-- - absolutely! 272 00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:29,890 Yeah, what about the guy We didn't like because He was veiny? 273 00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:32,092 - yeah, there was The veiny guy. - yeah. 274 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,694 That first a.D. From "Evening shade" Had foamy mouth. 275 00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:37,831 - we didn't hire him. - he was bubbly. I can't work With somebody who's bubbly. 276 00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:41,134 Guys, I think you've forgotten That maureen's mother 277 00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:43,636 Was our nanny For years and years 278 00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:45,572 And she helped me With the girls. 279 00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:49,209 Okay, she is very Mentally unstable 280 00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:52,946 And right now she's going Through a very rough time. All right? 281 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,315 Her daughter getting fired 282 00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:57,484 Or quitting or whatever It is that happened, 283 00:11:57,584 --> 00:12:01,288 It's gonna make her-- She could be, like, suicidal. 284 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:04,357 - she's suicidal? - you've got to get maureen Back here to work. 285 00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:07,560 - okay? You've got to do it. - you really should-- you should Take care of this, larry. 286 00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:09,997 You should. You need to drive Over there right now. 287 00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:12,099 - that's what you have to do. That's right. - yeah. 288 00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:14,034 ( sighs ) 289 00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:17,170 Man. 290 00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:20,908 - so jerry and I talked, and-- - mm-hmm. 291 00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:23,110 --we want you to come back. 292 00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,145 Want you back. 293 00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:27,347 You want me to come back? 294 00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:29,282 Yeah. 295 00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:33,386 Well, the whole reason Was because you weren't Okay with this shirt. 296 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,923 Honestly, I don't even know What I was thinking about. 297 00:12:36,023 --> 00:12:38,225 I'm fine with the shirt. I'm fine with the whole thing. 298 00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:40,293 - the whole-- the whole-- - what do you mean The whole thing? 299 00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:42,362 - all the whole-- - what is this whole thing? What is this? 300 00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,497 You know, Whatever's happening there, I'm fine with it. 301 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:45,899 My stomach? What does that mean? 302 00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,868 You know, the protuberance And the whole-- all of it. 303 00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:50,770 - so we're good? - I mean... 304 00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:52,940 It's a simple Thing, larry. 305 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,175 - perfect world? - okay. 306 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:59,079 Maybe an inch further down, Cover up the belly button. 307 00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:01,281 That's all. Perfect world, perfect world! 308 00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:04,184 I'd cover That little thing there, The little belly button. 309 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:07,855 An inch lower. You know, but belly button Or no belly button, 310 00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:09,589 We want you to come back. 311 00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:12,025 - okay. - good. 312 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,361 - I'm glad we talked, larry. - ( door opens ) 313 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,229 - oh, honey. - hi, mom. 314 00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:19,366 Hi, honey. The traffic was unbelievable. 315 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,401 Oh no. 316 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:25,973 - mom, are you okay? - oh my god. 317 00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:28,575 This is my boss. This is larry. 318 00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:30,878 No, this is not larry. This-- you-- 319 00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:33,046 You are the spitting image 320 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,515 Of my deceased Husband tom. 321 00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,584 Oh my god. 322 00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:40,153 Oh, I'm having a hot flash. Oh ho ho. 323 00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:42,589 Seriously? I really look like this guy? 324 00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:45,825 - ohhh. - you look exactly like him. 325 00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:47,660 Wh-- what-- wh-- What happened to him? 326 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:51,698 Oh, it happened so fast. You know, he was murdered, And... 327 00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:53,000 - we got married-- - murdered?! 328 00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:56,303 Yes! It was 1962. 329 00:13:56,403 --> 00:14:01,374 It was our wedding day. We were driving down to mexico For our honeymoon... 330 00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:07,747 ( with radio ) * don't say nothing Bad about my baby * 331 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:11,684 - * oh no - * don't say nothing Bad about my baby * 332 00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:15,522 - * I love you so - * don't say nothing Bad about my baby * 333 00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:19,092 - * dontcha know? - * don't say nothing Bad about my baby * 334 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,028 - * he's good - * he's good! 335 00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:22,963 - * he's good to me - * he's so good to me 336 00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:26,299 - * that's all I care about - * I don't care about Nothing else! * 337 00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:29,436 - that's all I care about. - ( radio continues ) 338 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,204 Ohhh. 339 00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:34,074 - happy, baby? - I'm so happy. 340 00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:36,743 You ever think You'd get a guy like me? 341 00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:39,412 No. I don't think My mom did either. 342 00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:43,650 Yeah. Are you looking forward To the sex later? 343 00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:47,120 Well, I have to admit 344 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,789 That I have been Fantasizing a little. 345 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,192 - I have a confession to make. - yeah? 346 00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,061 I don't think I know What I'm doing. 347 00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:56,429 ( engine zooming ) 348 00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:58,298 Hey! ( honking ) 349 00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,333 - what the hell? - just let him go. 350 00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:02,569 - what are you doing? - just let him go. 351 00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:03,836 - hey, same to you! - no no. 352 00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:05,172 - uh-huh, yeah! - please don't. 353 00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:06,673 - please don't. - jesus, huh? 354 00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:10,143 - do not ruin our perfect day. - what a schmohawk. 355 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,412 - you bastard! Go ahead, pull over. - just keep going. 356 00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:14,481 You don't pull over. Just keep driving. 357 00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,649 - please, don't get in a fight. - okay okay. 358 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:19,019 - don't worry about it. - please, just-- tom! 359 00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:21,955 - what are you doing out here? - wait here. 360 00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:24,324 ( muffled chatter ) 361 00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:34,634 Wait, he's behind you! 362 00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:36,403 No no no! 363 00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:38,271 - oh! - fucking moron! 364 00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:39,939 Learn how to fucking drive! 365 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,741 ( man laughs ) 366 00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:43,343 Learn how to speed The hell up! 367 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:46,179 * bad about my baby, Oh no * 368 00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:49,182 * don't say nothing Bad about my baby. * 369 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:52,752 And all he did was honk! 370 00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:55,055 He honked! 371 00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,190 - that's unbelievable. - it is. 372 00:15:57,290 --> 00:16:00,427 - you can't honk anymore! You cannot honk. - oh, no no. 373 00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:02,262 I'll tell you What else you can't do-- You can't shush. 374 00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:04,031 No honking, No shushing. 375 00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:05,832 That sound-- shh-shh, You know. 376 00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:08,168 - it is offensive. It's startling. - maureen: it's awful. 377 00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:09,936 But people don't Kill you for shushing. 378 00:16:10,037 --> 00:16:11,871 - they kill you for honking. - that part's true. 379 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,441 Let me help you With the groceries. Let me Get these out of your way. 380 00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:17,310 Thank you, dear. I'm gonna show you A picture of tom. 381 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:20,613 Because you're not Going to believe. It's uncanny. 382 00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:24,484 - come on, hmm? - ( larry scoffs ) 383 00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:27,154 - you see it, don't you? - I'm sorry to say. 384 00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:30,190 - what? - he doesn't look Anything like me. 385 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:33,126 - honestly. - look, the-- the-- 386 00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:35,295 The hair, The glasses, everything. 387 00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:39,332 - it's the same. Confirm it. - all bald people do not Look alike. 388 00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,634 I don't see how You cannot see that. 389 00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:44,937 - may I use your bathroom? - yeah, second door On the right. 390 00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:47,374 - okay. - ( giggles ) 391 00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:57,217 ( urine gushing ) 392 00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,627 ( grunts ) 393 00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:15,068 Oh. 394 00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:45,198 - I'm just gonna take off. - oh, hey, larry. 395 00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:47,200 - hey. - hey, I'm glad We had that talk. 396 00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:48,535 - yes! - I feel much better. 397 00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:50,403 - oh, me too, me too. - thanks for coming over. 398 00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:52,939 - so nice meeting you. - you should talk to her. 399 00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:55,041 You know, about The bare midriff 400 00:17:55,142 --> 00:17:57,377 And the belly button. 401 00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:03,516 ( phone rings ) 402 00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:08,455 - hello? - larry, it's the invisible jew. 403 00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:10,823 - richard lewis, remember me? - oh, hey! 404 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:13,360 - yeah. - I cannot believe 405 00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:15,595 I get invited to lunch With you and jerry. 406 00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:18,064 I'm standing there like a putz. You don't even-- 407 00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:19,866 You don't even Make believe I'm there. 408 00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:22,101 What am I, Marley's ghost? 409 00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:24,304 I am so sorry. You're so right. 410 00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:26,239 I was completely In the wrong there 411 00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:28,241 And I truly apologize. 412 00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:31,178 I'll tell you why I felt Even doubly shitty, 413 00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,880 Because I went to A memorabilia show The other day 414 00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,215 And I bought you A present. 415 00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:37,317 Guess what-- A joe dimaggio bat 416 00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:39,786 That he signed That he used in A world series game. 417 00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:41,921 - oh my god, that's so sweet. - that's right. 418 00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:44,991 - and I was gonna Give it to you. - oh, that's so sweet of you. 419 00:18:45,091 --> 00:18:46,693 Thank you! You know what? Keep it on you 420 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,495 And you'll give it to me Next time I see you. 421 00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:51,198 - and next time I'll slide down. - all right. 422 00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:52,665 Fair enough. All right. 423 00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:55,902 - fine. All right. - all right. 424 00:18:56,002 --> 00:18:58,004 ( phone beeps ) 425 00:18:58,104 --> 00:19:00,773 Hello? 426 00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:02,375 Where-- 427 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,311 Larry! 428 00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:11,184 Ehh. 429 00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:20,727 Maureen: mom! 430 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:23,029 You've got to see this. Come here, come here! 431 00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:25,164 - oh oh! - oh my god. 432 00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:27,099 - what? - look at jesus! 433 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,702 - ( shrieking ) - I know! 434 00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:38,645 ( murmuring prayers ) 435 00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:50,089 Jerry: All right, What page are we on? 436 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,991 12. Let me ask You something. 437 00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:55,395 - when you get drop-off Calls with a guy-- - mm-hmm? 438 00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:57,730 --you don't call back For an official goodbye, Do you? 439 00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:58,865 - no. - huh? 440 00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:00,633 I mean, you have Your wife rules 441 00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:03,336 And you have Your friend rules. 442 00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:06,439 - yes. - for the wife, You're always-- 443 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:09,476 You must be careful not To disturb the exotic bird. 444 00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:11,511 - right. - but what kinda guy? 445 00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:13,346 - I mean, a regular guy? - lewis. 446 00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:15,415 Oh. Well, that's different. 447 00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:17,317 Yeah. 448 00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,719 Were you in the wind-down Phase of the call? 449 00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:22,789 - total wind-down, yeah. - did anybody say "So" And "All right"? 450 00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:24,156 Yeah, I mean, there was An "All right." 451 00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:26,359 In that register? That "All right!" 452 00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:29,862 - yeah, I think there was. - that one? Okay, well, That's half a goodbye. 453 00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:32,131 - right, it's over. - you don't need the goodbye. 454 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,966 - yeah. - hey, guys, 455 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:36,836 - can I talk To you for a second? - jerry: oh, sure, maureen. 456 00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:38,738 Um... 457 00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:40,507 Oh, gosh, uh... 458 00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:43,343 - are you all right? - I'm actually the best I've ever been 459 00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:45,378 - in my life. - oh, wow. 460 00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:47,380 Um, do I look Different to you? 461 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,650 No, I'm seeing everything I usually see. 462 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:51,651 - really? - yeah. 463 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,920 'cause my whole life Has changed. 464 00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:56,756 Yesterday-- it was actually Right after you left, 465 00:20:56,856 --> 00:20:59,492 A miracle happened. 466 00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:04,230 I went into the bathroom And I called my mother in 467 00:21:04,331 --> 00:21:07,634 Because there is a painting Hanging up of jesus. 468 00:21:07,734 --> 00:21:09,201 It's beautiful. 469 00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:11,504 And he's got a tear 470 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:14,173 Coming down on his face. 471 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,242 - really? - a real tear 472 00:21:16,343 --> 00:21:20,179 That was never There before. 473 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,114 - wow. - can you believe that? 474 00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:24,517 - that's odd. - it's a miracle! 475 00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:28,154 - he chose us. - are you sure it wasn't... 476 00:21:28,254 --> 00:21:31,023 You know, water? 477 00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:32,459 No no, It was at eye level. 478 00:21:32,559 --> 00:21:34,594 It was-- there's no way Water could get up there. 479 00:21:34,694 --> 00:21:37,664 Have you ever witnessed A miracle like that? 480 00:21:37,764 --> 00:21:40,066 - no. - I mean, can you think Of one like that? 481 00:21:40,166 --> 00:21:42,602 I think every erection Is a miracle. 482 00:21:42,702 --> 00:21:45,938 Anyway, I'm sad to tell You guys this, but I... 483 00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:47,774 I have to quit. 484 00:21:47,874 --> 00:21:49,008 - what? - ohh! 485 00:21:49,108 --> 00:21:51,578 - I'm sorry, you guys. - oooh. 486 00:21:51,678 --> 00:21:53,946 It's just my mother And I decided after seeing it 487 00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:55,982 We can't just keep it To ourselves, you know? 488 00:21:56,082 --> 00:21:58,618 We're going to go and buy An r.V. And tour the country 489 00:21:58,718 --> 00:22:02,288 And show the whole country Our miracle. 490 00:22:02,389 --> 00:22:03,623 - it's amazing. - that's wonderful. 491 00:22:03,723 --> 00:22:05,425 And we can't just keep it To ourselves. 492 00:22:05,525 --> 00:22:07,093 - we have to share it. - jerry: you have to. 493 00:22:07,193 --> 00:22:09,962 Trust your gut, You know. 494 00:22:10,062 --> 00:22:12,164 Thank you so much. 495 00:22:12,264 --> 00:22:14,233 Um, I have to ask you A favor though. 496 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:17,604 - the r.V. That We want to use... - yeah? 497 00:22:17,704 --> 00:22:22,375 - ...We need a cosigner. I would normally never-- - you got it! 498 00:22:22,475 --> 00:22:24,076 Don't even think about it. 499 00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:25,612 - that's nothing. - you'll do it?! 500 00:22:25,712 --> 00:22:27,714 - of course. - that is larry david. 501 00:22:27,814 --> 00:22:29,716 - tell her who I am. - larry "How can I help" davi. 502 00:22:29,816 --> 00:22:31,918 - yes. - it would have to be done By 3:00 tomorrow. 503 00:22:32,018 --> 00:22:34,053 - yes yes! I'll sign anything. - really? 504 00:22:34,153 --> 00:22:36,322 - anything you want, yeah. - I'll see you tomorrow. 505 00:22:36,423 --> 00:22:37,724 - yes! - thank you. 506 00:22:37,824 --> 00:22:40,493 - thank you. Thank you for all the... - wonderful. 507 00:22:40,593 --> 00:22:42,762 ...The good work. 508 00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:47,434 You splashed him, Didn't you? 509 00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:50,503 I splashed him. 510 00:22:52,905 --> 00:22:55,542 Larry: No no, don't worry, Maureen. 511 00:22:55,642 --> 00:22:57,276 I'm just getting Something to eat. 512 00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:59,412 I'll be at the bank At 3:00 to cosign. 513 00:22:59,512 --> 00:23:01,748 Yes, I will. 514 00:23:01,848 --> 00:23:05,151 All right, I'll see you at 3:00. 515 00:23:06,586 --> 00:23:08,421 - thank you. - mm-hmm. 516 00:23:16,429 --> 00:23:19,766 Hey you! Put the napkins back. 517 00:23:19,866 --> 00:23:22,602 - what? - only two. I put two In the bag. That's plenty. 518 00:23:22,702 --> 00:23:25,004 Two, are you kidding? I got a chicken Parmesan sub here. 519 00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:27,740 I had a handicapped kid In here yesterday-- know How many napkins he got? 520 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:31,177 - two! - what, do they eat differently Than the rest of us? 521 00:23:31,277 --> 00:23:32,512 That's the point. Two. 522 00:23:32,612 --> 00:23:34,413 - what's the point? - two napkins. 523 00:23:34,514 --> 00:23:37,216 - I don't get The handicapped reference. - put the napkins back. 524 00:23:37,316 --> 00:23:41,153 - what's The handicapped reference? - put the napkins back. 525 00:23:45,925 --> 00:23:48,995 - fine. Here. - thank you very much. 526 00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:50,162 - okay. - okay? 527 00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:51,498 All right. Thank you very much. 528 00:23:51,598 --> 00:23:53,500 - thank you for your business. - okay. 529 00:24:04,477 --> 00:24:07,814 - ( siren blurting ) - oh god. 530 00:24:07,914 --> 00:24:10,717 Damn it. 531 00:24:17,023 --> 00:24:18,424 Good afternoon, sir. 532 00:24:18,525 --> 00:24:20,527 License And registration, Please. 533 00:24:20,627 --> 00:24:22,995 Would you mind telling me What I did, officer? 534 00:24:23,095 --> 00:24:26,566 Huh? I think I was going The speed limit. 535 00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:31,604 Where'd you-- where'd You buy that sandwich? 536 00:24:32,805 --> 00:24:34,106 Enzo's. 537 00:24:34,206 --> 00:24:36,543 - he give you Any napkins with that? - yeah yeah. 538 00:24:36,643 --> 00:24:38,611 Yeah? How many Napkins they give you? 539 00:24:38,711 --> 00:24:40,747 Two, they give you Two napkins. 540 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,249 What's in the bag? 541 00:24:44,784 --> 00:24:48,120 Some plastic forks, knives, 542 00:24:48,220 --> 00:24:50,156 Spoons. 543 00:24:50,256 --> 00:24:52,925 Let me see The bag, please. 544 00:25:06,973 --> 00:25:09,141 - I need them! - step out of the car, please. 545 00:25:09,241 --> 00:25:10,910 Oh, come on! Are you serious? 546 00:25:11,010 --> 00:25:14,280 What did I do? I took some napkins. I got sauce on my face. 547 00:25:14,380 --> 00:25:16,749 - I need napkins To clean the sauce. - step back of the car, please. 548 00:25:16,849 --> 00:25:19,185 - come on, this is crazy! - face the car, please. 549 00:25:19,285 --> 00:25:21,621 - we're talking about napkins! - put your hands on the car. 550 00:25:23,222 --> 00:25:25,324 Cop: So you're sure it's not One of the other guys? 551 00:25:25,424 --> 00:25:27,493 - just those two? - no no, I remember the glasss 552 00:25:27,594 --> 00:25:29,796 And the bald head. Bald with glasses for sure. 553 00:25:29,896 --> 00:25:30,763 All right. 554 00:25:30,863 --> 00:25:33,465 Four and six, Step forward please. 555 00:25:33,566 --> 00:25:35,735 The rest of you step Out to the right. 556 00:25:40,607 --> 00:25:42,775 Okay, what do you think? 557 00:25:46,879 --> 00:25:50,617 - I just can't tell. - don't know which one it is? 558 00:25:50,717 --> 00:25:54,654 I'm confused. I just see bald. 559 00:25:55,454 --> 00:25:57,056 I-- I don't know. 560 00:25:57,156 --> 00:26:00,092 All right, You're free to go-- Both of you. 561 00:26:03,763 --> 00:26:06,999 Larry: Hey, thanks so much for picking Me up at the police station. 562 00:26:07,099 --> 00:26:09,836 I can't believe You missed the signing. 563 00:26:09,936 --> 00:26:12,672 I mean, it's over something So stupid as napkins. 564 00:26:12,772 --> 00:26:15,942 I mean, why do you have To use so many napkins? 565 00:26:16,042 --> 00:26:18,678 I don't know. I like a lot of napkins. 566 00:26:18,778 --> 00:26:21,313 Hey, thanks for letting me Drive the car, by the way. 567 00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:24,450 - it feels good, huh? - oh my god, I can't believe You kept it all these years. 568 00:26:24,550 --> 00:26:25,852 - oh yeah. - I'll give you $200 for it. 569 00:26:25,952 --> 00:26:27,720 - oh. - what do you say? 570 00:26:27,820 --> 00:26:29,889 - no no, I couldn't Part with it. - hey! 571 00:26:29,989 --> 00:26:32,458 ( honks ) 572 00:26:32,558 --> 00:26:34,761 - don't honk, don't honk! - quiet. 573 00:26:34,861 --> 00:26:36,629 - my gosh. - yeah, pull over! 574 00:26:36,729 --> 00:26:38,631 - ( shrieks ) - ( honks ) 575 00:26:38,731 --> 00:26:40,466 Don't stop. Oh, please, don't stop. 576 00:26:40,566 --> 00:26:42,501 - I'll be right back. - no no, don't get Out of the car! 577 00:26:42,601 --> 00:26:44,603 - I'll be back in a minute. - don't get out! 578 00:26:46,505 --> 00:26:47,974 - hey. - you have a lot of nerve! 579 00:26:48,074 --> 00:26:50,242 - I do? - you have a lot Of fucking nerve. 580 00:26:50,342 --> 00:26:53,545 - why, what did I do? - what, are you banging some Kind of mormon beautician? 581 00:26:53,646 --> 00:26:55,081 - get out of here. - who the fuck is that? 582 00:26:55,181 --> 00:26:57,083 - it's a long story. - let me tell you something, 583 00:26:57,183 --> 00:26:59,986 When I called you About that gift, okay, The phones went out. 584 00:27:00,086 --> 00:27:03,122 - you didn't call me back! - I ended our conversation With all right, 585 00:27:03,222 --> 00:27:04,857 - then the drop off. - I want an official goodbye. 586 00:27:04,957 --> 00:27:06,726 You can't assume goodbye? 587 00:27:06,826 --> 00:27:09,829 Radio: Our flashback weekend Continues back to 1963. 588 00:27:09,929 --> 00:27:12,264 It's the cookies, "Don't say Nothing bad about my baby." 589 00:27:12,364 --> 00:27:14,901 * don't say nothing Bad about my baby... * 590 00:27:15,001 --> 00:27:17,770 I'm gonna give you Your gift anyway. You don't deserve it. 591 00:27:17,870 --> 00:27:19,739 - I must just be such a wuss. - that's very sweet of you. 592 00:27:19,839 --> 00:27:21,607 - that's so nice of you. - it's beyond sweet. 593 00:27:21,708 --> 00:27:25,011 This is A joe dimaggio bat, By the way. 594 00:27:25,111 --> 00:27:27,680 - * don't say nothing Bad about my baby... * - uh-oh, oh no. 595 00:27:27,780 --> 00:27:31,050 Behind you! The bat, the bat! 596 00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:38,357 - tom! - ohhh! 597 00:27:38,457 --> 00:27:40,492 - ( thuds ) - * don't say nothing Bad about my baby... * 598 00:27:40,592 --> 00:27:42,194 ( bat rolls ) 599 00:27:45,264 --> 00:27:48,600 - so lewis is gonna be okay? - yeah. Unscathed. 600 00:27:48,701 --> 00:27:50,502 That is a tough guy. 601 00:27:50,602 --> 00:27:52,739 But he stayed overnight In the hospital. 602 00:27:52,839 --> 00:27:54,774 I went to... I went to go visit him. 603 00:27:54,874 --> 00:27:56,976 - oh, that was nice of you. - yeah, but he was sleeping 604 00:27:57,076 --> 00:27:58,978 - so I didn't really Get to talk to him. - oh. 605 00:27:59,078 --> 00:28:01,714 I'm thinking that counts As a visit though, Wouldn't you say? 606 00:28:01,814 --> 00:28:03,582 - you were there. - I visited. 607 00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:05,051 - you did your part. - he can't complain. 608 00:28:05,151 --> 00:28:06,886 - can't complain, no. - right. 609 00:28:06,986 --> 00:28:09,488 - you know what? I gotta go pee, so... - all right. 610 00:28:09,588 --> 00:28:12,124 Maybe tomorrow We'll dress up like Kaufman and hart-- 611 00:28:12,224 --> 00:28:13,926 Put on coats and ties, Tweed jackets. 612 00:28:14,026 --> 00:28:15,962 - yeah, that's a good idea. - smoke some cigarettes. 613 00:28:16,062 --> 00:28:17,596 Maybe we'll have A good writing day. 614 00:28:17,696 --> 00:28:20,833 Yeah, then maybe wrestle Naked like oliver reed And alan bates. 615 00:28:20,933 --> 00:28:22,769 ( larry laughs ) 616 00:28:24,570 --> 00:28:27,106 - ( rattles handle ) - shit. 617 00:28:27,206 --> 00:28:29,075 Hey! 618 00:28:29,175 --> 00:28:31,143 Oh, damn it. 619 00:28:32,578 --> 00:28:34,046 Fuck. 620 00:28:40,486 --> 00:28:43,455 - I'll come in and help You with your stuff. - thanks, mom. 621 00:28:48,995 --> 00:28:50,963 ( mother groans ) 622 00:28:52,331 --> 00:28:54,767 - ( urinating ) - do you hear that? 623 00:28:54,867 --> 00:28:56,836 Yeah, what is that? 624 00:29:02,008 --> 00:29:04,811 I think It's coming over here. 625 00:29:04,911 --> 00:29:06,745 - you hear it, right? - yes! 626 00:29:06,846 --> 00:29:09,916 - mother: wow, what The heck is that? - it's over here. 627 00:29:11,250 --> 00:29:13,886 - oh my god. - oh, honey, what is-- What was that? 628 00:29:13,986 --> 00:29:15,788 - what are you doing? - larry? 629 00:29:15,888 --> 00:29:18,057 The-- the-- The door was locked. I-I-- 630 00:29:18,157 --> 00:29:20,927 How did that Even get up here? How did that-- 631 00:29:21,027 --> 00:29:23,395 - what is it? - oh my god. 632 00:29:23,495 --> 00:29:26,432 - what? - that's how jesus-- 633 00:29:26,532 --> 00:29:28,634 - that's how-- - oh no. 634 00:29:28,734 --> 00:29:30,669 - no! - oh no, you didn't. 635 00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:32,704 You did not Do that, larry! 636 00:29:32,805 --> 00:29:35,808 - ( gasps ) it's horrible. - you know, it just goes Up in the... 637 00:29:35,908 --> 00:29:38,044 Larry, you sprayed On jesus! 638 00:29:38,144 --> 00:29:40,312 - ( stammers ) what can I do? - I can't believe it. 639 00:29:40,412 --> 00:29:42,949 I'm taking this medication And it's getting all Over the place! 640 00:29:43,049 --> 00:29:44,516 I can't control it! 641 00:29:44,616 --> 00:29:46,785 The church groups, The tour-- 642 00:29:47,854 --> 00:29:49,922 There was No miracle? 643 00:29:50,022 --> 00:29:52,424 - sorry. - mom-- 644 00:29:52,524 --> 00:29:53,926 Mom? 645 00:29:54,026 --> 00:29:56,762 Where did she go? 646 00:29:56,863 --> 00:29:58,597 - larry: she went that way. - where did she go?! 647 00:29:58,697 --> 00:30:01,333 Larry! Mom? 648 00:30:01,433 --> 00:30:04,103 - what the hell happened to her? - like, how far could She have gone? 649 00:30:04,203 --> 00:30:05,337 I don't know. I don't get it. 650 00:30:05,437 --> 00:30:06,873 - mom! - mrs. Cochran! 651 00:30:06,973 --> 00:30:09,408 Mom? Larry. 652 00:30:09,508 --> 00:30:11,878 Larry! Oh my gosh. 653 00:30:13,445 --> 00:30:16,215 - larry: oh, christ. - let's go-- go get her. 654 00:30:31,030 --> 00:30:33,232 Oh no! Please-- 655 00:30:33,332 --> 00:30:35,601 ( all screaming ) 656 00:30:37,736 --> 00:30:39,939 - ( groaning ) - larry. 657 00:30:40,039 --> 00:30:42,408 - oh, larry! - ( gasping ) 658 00:30:42,508 --> 00:30:44,610 Hang on, larry. Hang on! 659 00:30:44,710 --> 00:30:46,979 - ( theme music playing ) - larry. 660 00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:51,217 - hold on. - ahhhh.